Tuesday, January 24, 2006

There are terrorists in our midst!

CNN Anchor: This just in. You are looking at obviously a very disturbing shot there. That is the courtyard of East and West Quad at Colby College in Waterville, Maine, and we have unconfirmed reports that early this morning a man ran up to a snowman and decapitated its head.

CNN Center right now is just beginning to work on this story, obviously calling our sources and trying to figure out exactly what happened. But clearly, something relatively devastating happening this morning there on the north end of Colby College in Waterville, ME.

We are going to join another one of our Maine affiliates, WABC for their live coverage.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ... plane overhead, and then all of a sudden -- I thought it sounded kind of loud, and then I looked up and all of a sudden it a smashed right dead into a lone snowman. A big flash of flame, fire coming out from all over, then all the snow-- it's a huge hole right now. It almost looks like the man probably went through. I'm not sure.

CNN Anchor: President Bush, as you said, will make a statement here at Emma E. Booker Elementary School in Sarasota about the catastrophe in Waterville, Maine. Following that statement, the president will board Air Force One and return immediately to Washington. We are told by White House officials traveling with the president in Sarasota that he was notified either shortly before 9:00 or shortly after. We don't have an exact moment of the notification of the president. We believe his chief of staff Andrew Card told him of the events in Maine. The president has been monitoring them as best as he can.

Investigators have two leads at this point. They suspect that this is the work of a duo of internationally wanted terrorists: all the agencies in the world have yet to obtain clear photographic descriptions of these two; most agencies only have two file photos of the suspected team of terrorists. They may be low in quality and we apologize.


Anonymous John C. said...

Where's Ding Chavez and Dieter Weber when you need 'em? Green light Team Rainbow Six, stat!

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Slackmasta said...

pull the mask off. and its noneother than mister fenix. you alarmist orange alert b#stard!

6:42 AM  

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